Movie Review: Blue Bayou

Blue Bayou. Amazing song. Horrible movie. And it’s a shame, because filmmaker Justin Chon (who also stars) showed such promise in his earlier work (Ms. Purple, Gook).

The opening image started promisingly, but it quickly turned into an unrealistic story, with characters that made no sense, and was just a schmaltzy mess of a movie. It’s the type of story you’d expect a film student to make as a short film. A kid that doesn’t realize how many times these types of stories have been done before, and much better (the first thing that comes to mind is The Visitor in 2007, which was brilliant). 

Antonio LeBlanc (Chon) plays who was adopted as a small child from a foreign country, but denied American citizenship, because the Child Citizenship Act of 2000 only applied to kids after 2001. That would be a decent premise for a story, but early in the movie, we see LeBlanc at a job interview and we’re supposed to hate the person interviewing him. That’s because he talks in a stern tone, and is confused by the name LeBlanc and wants to know “where are you from?” Ah, the racist, good ol’ boy redneck that doesn’t want to hire a foreigner. I was a bit more confused by a few other things in that scene. One, that he’d even be called in for an interview when the boss already knew he had two prior convictions. Second, why would LeBlanc wear a raggedy old T-shirt to a job interview, and bring his daughter to the interview? Speaking of bringing his daughter places, there’s a touching scene where she expresses sadness over a new sister that will be joining the family soon, and the way he talks to her is sweet and lovely. Yet, instead of taking her to school, he puts her on the back of his motorcycle, and dangerously drives in and out of traffic, and lets her hang out at the tattoo parlor where he works. She hears a bunch of people cursing at each other and I’m thinking -- am I supposed to think this guy is a good father? He even lets her tattoo a guy. At that point, I think he’s kind of an idiot (he also smokes pot in front of the child). So excuse me if I don’t side with him when the mother-in-law doesn’t say hello to him and obviously dislikes who her daughter has chosen to make a life with.

And then we quickly meet the ex. He calls and wants to see his daughter, but is told: “She’s been sick.” 

He responds, “For 3 months?!”

That made me wonder two things. If these people are having money problems, isn’t this guy paying child support? And if not, tell him to start, and he can see his kid. If he is, and she isn’t letting him see their daughter (even if she claims, “She doesn’t want to see you”)...well, she’s the one at fault. Oh, and guess what? The ex (Mark O’Brien) is named Ace (did Chon think he was naming characters for a porno film?). He’s a cop, and he and his partner show up in the grocery store, barge their way to the front of the deli counter and cut in line in front of some old people, before going over to the couple and harassing them and beating LeBlanc up. Yeah. These cops would both be fired, and probably be doing jail time. But a bunch of liberal critics will praise this movie and say: “This is such a timely story.”

It’s such rubbish (and in the closing credits we see real people that have been deported, just as the great Oscar winning short film Two Distant Strangers did; both didn’t show WHY these people were deported or shot by police, but I digress).

Both Chon and Alicia Vikander do a decent job with their southern accents (although my wife insisted her accent was awful). And their daughter Jessie (Sydney Kowalske) is cute. 

There’s a powerful scene where an Asian woman (Linh Dan Pham) LeBlanc met at the hospital previously, is going to jump on the back of his motorcycle. Before putting on his helmet, she takes off her wig. We realize at that moment why she was at the hospital, and it’s perfectly executed. Yet you quickly start to wonder why she’s becoming part of this contrived story. Ah, yes. For more family trauma to give the audience.

All the shaky, hand-held camera work was distracting, and this is shot on 16mm, probably to give the film a grainy vibe. Instead, all of that was just annoying. And going back to my thoughts that this felt like a student film -- we get lots of close-ups, so we can see tears welling up, etc.

There’s a racist, crazy police officer who is partnered with Ace (just typing that idiotic name; I thought of a bit I saw as a kid where comedian Sandra Bernhardt was talking to an audience member and made fun of him endlessly when she found out his name was Ace). The partner is played by Emory Cohen, and he’s so over-the-top with his voice and anger, it made me think it was a character that should have been in the Dukes of Hazzard or some TV show. It’s so buffoonish, you wonder what Chon was even thinking when he’d watch the dailies. 

The score was overbearing, too. This film is filled with cliches, and dear god, did it need a bit more nuance. Did Chon learn nothing from the wonderfully understated Minari a few years ago? 

0 stars, and it will be on my list of worst movies of the year.


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